


Safe With Me

by sksai



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Bondage and Discipline, Boyfriends being embarrassing together, Established Relationship, Fluff and Smut, Light BDSM, M/M, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-24
Updated: 2015-01-24
Packaged: 2018-03-08 21:34:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3224222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sksai/pseuds/sksai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ronan requests a unique birthday present. Adam delivers. They can't be sexy without being losers about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Safe With Me

**Author's Note:**

> title from [Safe With Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3ZwjcDPGgM) by Sam Smith

"This is ridiculous," Ronan scoffed.

"Pick one or we're not doing it," was Adam's curt reply.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me."

The look on Adam's face was stern.

"Fine," Ronan sighed. "Onomatopoeia."

"Ronan, be serious."

"I can't believe _you're_ being serious right now," Ronan shook his head. "You're just making it...so..." Ronan struggled to find the right word, "loser...ly."

"There is nothing 'loserly'," Adam said rather primly, "about consent."

"I'm already giving you my consent!" Ronan groaned loudly, flopping back on his bed. "Right here, right now. Consent given."

"That's all well and good," Adam said,"but you might change your mind later. You might want to stop."

Ronan propped himself up lazily on his elbow to look at his boyfriend. "I won't. And even if I did, I'd just tell you to stop."

" _Stop_  can't be the safe word," Adam rolled his eyes, "That's the whole entire point of safe words. In the heat of the moment a person might  _say_  stop but not really mean it, and all the stopping and going and confusion is avoided with picking a separate agreed upon word."

"Did you research this?" Ronan asked. "Did you, like, go to the library and request time on a computer and spend an afternoon taking notes on proper kink ettiquite or something?"

Adam, for the first time since this conversation had started, didn't have a reply.

Ronan stared at him for a moment, before bursting into laughter. Adam simply stared ahead, as if he had expected as much. Ronan reached for his hand, rubbing his thumb over the top of it. "You are being ridiculous-"

" _Responsible_ ," Adam cut in.

"Ridiculous," Ronan repeated, smiling a shark-toothed grin. "But adorable." He sat up fully and leaned in to treat his mouth to the taste of Adam's, but Adam jerked his head to the side.

Ronan furrowed his brow, wholeheartedly affronted. "Give me a fucking kiss."

"Why would I?"Adam wanted to know. "You've been nothing but a complete dick since I got here."

"Fuck you," Ronan retorted, not without an unmistakable undercurrent of affection. "You're the one being a dick. This is _my_ birthday present, after all. Belated, might I add."

Adam's cheeks reddened in a way that would've been devastatingly attractive if Ronan didn't know he'd struck a nerve. Ronan had specifically told Adam he didn't want him getting him anything, not anything of monetary value anyway. He really didn't want anything, truthfully. And furthermore, he didn't want Adam spending his own hard earned money on some stupid  _thing_  that he didn't really need or want in the first place. Of course Adam had taken offense to that, especially since Ronan hadn't made the same demand of Gansey.

"I've learned over the years that he'd just do it anyway, so I've stopped wasting my breath." Ronan had informed Adam. And then, a wicked light bulb going off in his head, added, "Plus, I want something else from you. Something you can't buy."

It was something Ronan had been wanting for awhile, he'd just been waiting for the opportunity to present itself. He could get something he'd been fantasizing about for weeks and diffuse a useless fight with Adam. He was a genius, really.

"We haven't exactly had the proper conditions for me to make good on my promise, now, have we?" Adam frowned now, in response to Ronan's previous remark. "And in that time, yes, I  _have_  been educating myself on the matter. Because it  _is_ what you asked for. And I want it to be good for you."

This time Ronan didn't give Adam a chance to evade him, grabbing both sides of his face with his hands and pulling him in for a quick, hard kiss. "Unngh," Adam whined petulantly, but leaned into it all the same. The kiss turned into another longer, softer one.

Ronan pulled back after awhile, snaking an arm around Adam's neck, keeping him close.

"Do you even want to do this?" Adam asked him, eyes wide and earnest.

" _Obviously_ ," Ronan sighed. "It was my idea."

"Well you're not taking it very seriously," Adam quietly continued, eyes narrowed in vague suspicion.

"I got Gansey the hell out of here, didn't I?" Ronan shot back, raising his eyebrows. "Which wasn't easy. He asks a million fucking questions. And I put Chainsaw in Noah's room. Her tender eyes can't be subjected to this."

"Where is Noah?" Adam suddenly wondered, as he'd forgotten to take his presence into account in the first place.

"Noah was easy to get rid of." Ronan grinned. "He doesn't ask questions."

"What did you tell Gansey, then?" Adam asked, giving Ronan a dubious look.

"The truth." Ronan answered simply. Adam goggled at him.

"Not explicitly," Ronan clarified with a smirk. "I just told him I wanted Monmouth to myself for the night. And he wanted to know why. And I told him because I just did. Needed it, in fact. He asked what he was supposed to do with himself. I told him to figure it out."

"That's it?" Adam cocked his head to the side warily.

"I'm summarizing," Ronan said, "The point is, he agreed. And we've got the place to ourselves. So let's start taking advantage of that."

"We will, once you pick a word."

This time it was Ronan's turn to whine like a child. " _Adam_."

"That can't be the word either," Adam gave a derisive snort. "It has to be something you don't normally say during sex."

 _Asshole_ , Ronan thought lovingly, and nipped at his ear in response.

"You know I'm not exactly comfortable with the idea of being...violent." Adam said, clearing his throat around the last word.

"It's not violent," Ronan said. "It's sexy. There's a big difference."

"Yeah, I know. I guess I'm just worried it might..." Adam looked away from him. "Bring something out in me. Something bad."

That stilled Ronan. He hadn't thought of that, not even for a moment. He knew Adam inside and out. Adam wasn't...he wouldn't ever...Ronan _knew_ that. "...Adam." he said after a long moment. "You can't really think that about yourself." Silence from Adam. "Can you?"

Adam shrugged. "I just don't want to hurt you. Or doing anything wrong. I don't know."

Ronan could sense his unease growing as Adam chewed idly at his lip and realized for the first time how selfish his suggestion had been.

"Hey," he said, snuggling up to Adam and pressing his face into his neck. "We don't have to do this. Seriously. Forget I ever mentioned it."

"No," Adam twisted in his embrace and looked down at him, giving him a small, crooked smile. "No, I want to."

Ronan swallowed, desire tightening his stomach muscles. Adam always seemed to instinctively assume a somewhat dominant disposition during sex, which was fine by Ronan. It was because of this, though, that Ronan had assumed Adam wouldn't have any problem taking that a step farther. Then again, this was more of a giant leap. They'd never done anything like this before.

Still. Ronan wanted it. Badly. And hearing Adam saying he wanted it too, with that subtly sly look on his face, was enough to make Ronan relent to Adam's demands. He'd be doing that soon enough, anyway.

With a great sigh, he announced, "Pocky."

Adam raised his eyebrows. "What?"

"That's the word."

Adam threw his head back and laughed. " _Pocky_? Where did you even come up with that?"

Ronan nodded his head toward the open box of half-eaten aforementioned chocolate covered biscuit sticks that sat on his bedside table. "I was looking at that. Seemed to work well enough. You got a problem with my safeword, Parrish?"

Adam shook his head, threw his hands up. "Pocky it is."

"Good," Ronan said, "So-"

"Stand up." Adam said suddenly.

The unexpected tone coming out of Adam's mouth caught Ronan off guard. He started at him blankly for a moment.

"I said," Adam repeated in that unfamiliar cool, sawed-off voice. "Stand up."

 _Oh_ , Ronan realized, his heart dipping with searing anticipation in his chest.  _Oh. Okay. Fuck._ He stood up.

"Take your shirt off." Adam said. Ronan did as he was told in silence.

Adam's gaze explored his now naked torso from where he still sat on the bed. After a moment, he said, "Put it back on."

Ronan couldn't help but laugh. Adam, however, was still just gazing levelly at him, his lips in a straight line. "Seriously?" Ronan cocked an eyebrow.

"I didn't like the way you took it off the first time," a side of Adam's mouth quirked up. "Put it back on and do it again."

Ronan blinked at him, rolled his eyes, and bent to retrieve his discarded tank top.

"How do you want me to do it, then?" Ronan asked once he'd gotten it back on.

"Slow, this time." Adam said, sounding just a little too much like a bored king toying with a jester. Ronan cursed himself for being turned on by it. "And," Adam added, "Don't roll your eyes at me again."

Fuck. He was good at this. And somehow it was much more adorable than it was aggressively sexy, and Ronan wanted to laugh again. He managed to restrain himself and slowly lifted the tank top back over his head.

" _Good_." Adam said when he was topless again, in a voice that made Ronan's breath stick in his throat. And things were back into aggressively sexy territory again.

Adam stood up, then, brandishing a long strip of fabric from the pocket of his jeans. A tie, Ronan realized, just as Adam said, "Turn around."

These short, simple commands were really starting to do something to him. It was that voice Adam was using too. Soft, but sharp and slick with authority. Ronan turned, eager and waiting. Adam went to work binding his hands behind his back with the tie. He yanked it tight and Ronan sucked in a hissing breath. God. Yes.

Adam gripped his shoulders and spun him back around, pushing him unceremoniously up against the wall. He kissed him hard, without warning. Ronan wriggled strangely, unused to the sensation of not being able to move his arms while being kissed. God, this was torture already. And it set him on fire.

Adam moved his mouth from Ronan's, trailing hot, biting kisses down his jaw and neck. Ronan could literally only groan in response. "Fuck," he breathed out, longingly.

"Oh," Adam said, popping his head up so he could look at Ronan. He smiled. "That reminds me. No swearing."

Ronan blinked, not comprehending. "Wh-what?"

"I said, no swearing." Adam touched a finger to Ronan's lips. "If you swear, I'll have to punish you."

Punish? Ronan's heart beat doubled. That sounded ominous. And hot.

"How are you gonna punish me?" Ronan rasped, grinning like an idiot.

Adam grinned back, then swiftly undid his belt and slipped it off. Ronan watched in silence as Adam folded it in half and raised it up to eye-level. He cracked it between them.

Ronan flinched.

Well.

Fuck.

"Understand?" Adam asked casually, lifting one hand to trail a finger softly across Ronan's jaw. Christ, how was he so good at this? Ronan felt dangerously unhinged. He reveled in the thrill of the loss of control. And giving it all over to  _Adam_ , letting him completely take over his body like this. It was...

"Fu-" Ronan had to bite his lip and squeeze his eyes shut. He screamed obscenities in his head for a few seconds, damning Adam for giving him such an impossible challenge. He breathed out shakily. "You know I'm not gonna make it."

Adam chuckled and leaned in to kiss him again, murmuring against his mouth, "You'll just have to try. Are you gonna try for me?"

"Yes," Ronan choked out in a pained sigh.

"Good." Adam replied. There was that voice again. Ronan felt high. His nerve endings tingling and hyper-aware.

"Now," Adam stepped back, undoing his jeans and sliding them down. "Get on your knees."

He dropped to the floor knees-first, it was the only way he could do it without the use of his hands to give him any purchase. They banged in that sour, painful way knees do when struck, but Ronan paid them no mind. He leaned into Adam, not needing to be told what to do next. But Adam pushed him back. Ronan looked up at him, confused.

"Do you want it?" Adam asked him.

"Yes," Ronan answered eagerly, licking his lips.

"Tell me." Adam said.

"I want it," Ronan breathed.

"You want to what?" Adam prompted, snaking that hard-edged voice around Ronan's insides and twisting. Ronan wondered if Adam realized how fucking hot he sounded.

"I want to suck you," Ronan said plainly. Hearing the words slide out of his mouth so easily broke the last strand of control Ronan had over himself. He was in full submissive-mode now. "Please," he said. "Please, I want it."

Adam released his hold on him and Ronan all but fell forward, moaning slightly as he took Adam into his mouth. At least he wouldn't have to worry about the no swearing rule for awhile. And he loved the way Adam tasted, loved the fullness of him in his mouth, loved the reaction it elicited from him. It wasn't long before Ronan was rewarded with the sound of Adam's soft, breathy moans that drove Ronan wild. He sucked hard and slow, just the way Adam liked it.

"Look at me," Adam commanded softly. Ronan opened his eyes and looked up, his gaze locking on Adam's while he continued to work. It was a little unnerving, keeping eye-contact like this. It made him feel vulnerable and exposed. But it was the same for Adam, he was sure. A shared unearthing between the two of them that lit up things inside him he hadn't known were dark. He didn't dare look away.

Adam's hands were on the back of his head now, stroking lovingly. "Mm," he said, his eyes slitting in ecstasy. Finally, they closed. "You're so good."

The praise fell over Ronan like a warm shower in the dead of winter. God, he was weak for this boy. All he wanted to do was please him. He was good at it. And Adam deserved it. That's what he was gonna say, he decided, the next time his guidance counselor asked him to list his long-term goals. Have kinky sex with Adam Parrish. Indefinitely.

He closed his eyes now, sucked as hard as he could, leaning into Adam with his whole body to get as much of him down his throat as his own anatomy would allow. He pulled back slowly, rolled his tongue over the head of Adam's dick, paying close attention to the parts he knew were the most sensitive, and pushed himself back down. He repeated this process until Adam was whimpering and pushing him away. He rasped out a ragged breath, pulling his jeans back up around his waist.

"You don't want to come?" Ronan asked. God, the sound of his own voice was sickening. He sounded almost...disappointed. Fuck it, he was. He'd gladly swallow it down any day when it was Adam. There wasn't really any use pretending he didn't fucking love the salty-sweet taste of his boyfriend's cum.

"No," Adam said. "Not yet." He reached for Ronan, gripping him under the armpits and helping him stand back up. Ronan stretched and twisted, still not used to his hands and arms being immobile. The cutting off a basic ability he'd always had was as thrilling as it was frustrating. It made him wonder if he'd like to have another one cut off if they did this again.

Like sight, for instance.

Before he could mull that thought over completely, Adam was dragging him toward the bed and pushing him down on it. He felt his bindings loosen and fall away. Adam rolled him over and straddled his hips.

"Arms up," he said, faster than Ronan could process what was happening. He lifted his arms anyway and Adam went to work tying his hands together again, this time above his head. Conveniently, the carving of his wooden headboard came to point in the center, which Adam looped the remaining loose fabric around, securing him in place.

_Oh, God._

Adam slid his hands down Ronan's bare chest and stomach. Ronan sighed, arching up into his touch.

Adam rocked his hips, grinding himself against Ronan tortuously. "Someone's been enjoying themselves." He noted of Ronan's very obvious erection, trapped underneath his very, very too-tight jeans.

"Grnnffgh," was all Ronan could manage, straining against his binding.

"You like that?" Adam murmured, grinding down again.

"Answer me." he said, when Ronan didn't reply.

"Yes," Ronan breathed. "Yes, I like it."

"This?" Adam asked, continuing to torture him with the lower half of his body. "Or being tied up?"

"Ungh...both." Ronan rasped out, which was the truth.

Adam kept asking him questions, his voice low and rough. His accent was starting to slide in and out as he spoke. Ronan was dissolving to a sweating, writhing, whimpering mess.

"Look at you," Adam said slowly, eyes all over Ronan, glazing over as he appreciated his own handiwork. This was bordering on humiliating now. At the moment, Ronan was too turned on to care. The heat of it all was taking over his brain. He was only thinking in sex, in  _yes_ , in  _more_. The whole thing was excruitatingly hot, but the fact that it was _Adam_ was most likely about 90 percent of why he was on the verge of truly losing his mind.

As if Adam could suddenly read his, he said, "You wouldn't be so good for anyone else, would you?"

"No," Ronan promised, "Just you. Only you."

In an unexpected act of mercy, Adam graciously undid Ronan's jeans for him, pulling them down and off. Ronan breathed a desperate sigh of relief.

It was a short-lived reprieve, he soon came to realize, as Adam climbed back on top of him, kissing him roughly on the mouth. One hand came down to rest on top of Ronan's boxers. He teased him with the palm of his hand, rubbing him through the material as they kissed. Soon, Adam's mouth was moving from Ronan's down to his chin, his throat, his chest, his stomach, his hips.  _God damn him_ , Ronan thought. He knew that Adam knew exactly what this would do to him. To be touched and kissed like this without being able to kiss and touch back. He writhed helplessly underneath him while Adam continued his sweet assault of kisses all over, and then Adam's fingers were curling inside the waistband of his boxers, pulling them off. His mouth was at his belly button. His mouth was moving down. Ronan inhaled sharply.

Oh, no. Oh,  _fuck no._ He wouldn't, Ronan thought frantically in his head. He wasn't going to-

Ronan gasped a strangled cry as Adam's mouth closed around the head of his dick. His body spasmed wildly, hips jerking upward, wrists straining hard as he yanked his arms downward futilely. Adam brought his hands up to hold his hips in place, still teasing his mouth around the tip of his length, refusing to take in any more.  _This is hell_ , Ronan thought wildly. He felt like a mindless, feral thing. The way he was twitching and straining, the truly inhuman sounds he was making. He longed to run his fingers through Adam's hair, to be able to hold onto anything at all. He felt utterly at a loss being deprived of this. He wasn't sure how much more he could take. And then when Adam finally did take him fully into his mouth, he got his answer. He was done.

"Fuck," he whined helplessly, "fuck,  _Adam_."

Adam stopped abruptly and raised his head up. "What was that?"

Ronan groaned. Shit. He'd forgotten. "Uh, nothing?"

Adam just grinned and shook his head. "That was definitely a bad word. What did I tell you about saying bad words, Ronan?"

Motherfucker. He was just rubbing it in now. Ronan stayed defiantly silent.

" _Ronan_ ," Adam drew out the vowels in his name with warning disapproval.

"You said you'd punish me," Ronan said flatly, desperately attempting to mask the fact that the thought excited him.

"That's right." Adam said, straightening up and sliding off the bed. He walked over to where the forgotten belt lay on the floor. He picked it up and made his way back to Ronan. Anticipation swelled in Ronan's chest. God. He was really going to do this, wasn't he?

Adam folded up the belt again, clamping his hand down over the metal bit to make sure that wouldn't be the part to make contact. He ordered Ronan to turn himself over, arms now crossed above his head, knees holding him up. Adam's hand grazed his backside in a soft caress. "Are you ready?" Adam asked.

"Yes." He let out a long breath, steeling himself.

_CRACK_

The hard leather ripped against his bare skin. "Ahh," he hissed, lurching forward, practically knocking his skull into the headboard of the bed. He took another deep breath.

Fuck, that felt good.

"Something tells me you liked that a little more than you should have," Adam mused airily, and Ronan cursed himself for being so embarrassingly transparent.

"Did you like it?" Adam asked of Ronan's silence.

"Yes," he couldn't help but admit.

"Do you want another one?"

God. God. "Yes," he whispered.

 _CRACK_  went another sling of the belt against Ronan's flesh. He arched up into the pain, absorbed it, savored it. The lingering sting of it was like the sticky aftertaste of a sugary drink, only leaving him thirsty for more.

"Another?" Adam asked.

" _Yes_ ," Ronan all but begged.

"Yes, what?" Adam taunted.

Ronan groaned. "Yes,  _please_."

This one hit harder than the last two, Adam was more confident, but he was still holding back. Ronan could tell. And he knew why. Which is why  _he_  didn't hold back in showing Adam the immense pleasure it brought him, what he was doing. He wanted more, still. Wanted it harder, harder. Forget the fucking belt. He wanted red marks in the shape of Adam's exquisitely rough hands. Somehow he didn't think that suggestion would go over well. Maybe in time. For now he just soaked in what Adam was giving him now. Moaning and arching and panting in delight.

"I think you've learned your lesson," Adam said after a few more wonderful cracks of the belt. Which meant Adam had had his fill of the activity. Ronan could have gone on like that for awhile. He was learning all sorts of things about himself tonight, it seemed.

"Are you going to be good now?" Adam asked him.

"Yes," Ronan answered quickly and simply. He was getting the hang of obedience, even. Truly. What a night.

Adam rolled Ronan so he was on his back again. He smiled down at him. "Now, then. Where were we?"

"Adam," Ronan sighed wearily, "I never thought I'd say this, but please don't start blowing me again."

Adam laughed, cocking his head to the side. "Yeah? Why not?"

"Too much," Ronan said. "Too good."

"Hmm," Adam hummed, resuming his position astride Ronan. "Is that so?" He bent down to kiss Ronan's hip.

Ronan moaned in agony.

Adam ignored him, trailing kisses lower and lower.

"Adammmmmm," Ronan let out a terrible whine. "Don't."

"See, the problem now is I can't tell if you're being serious or not," Adam said, self-satisfaction clear in his voice. "Heat of the moment and all, I'm confused by these signals. If only there was some way-"

"You really-" Ronan growled as Adam's mouth dipped even lower. "Ahh!-fine.  _Pocky_. There, I said it. You've made your point. Now get your mouth the hell away from my dick. And now I can swear all I want, right? You fucking asshole."

Adam laughed again, rearing back to sit up. "I wasn't going to, really." He told Ronan. "I would have stopped. But, I just wanted to make you say it."

"Sick." Ronan shook his head at him, smiling.

Adam leaned forward to kiss Ronan, this time fully genuine, fully Adam, and as much fun as this entire experience had been thus far, Ronan was suddenly awash in a disconcerting nostalgia, like he'd been without this for far too long.

"What do you want?" Adam asked him after breaking away, looking down at him with those deep, penetrating eyes.

"I think I'm done with Dom-Adam for the time being," Ronan said. "I just want my Adam now."

"You wanna stop, then?" Adam asked, his voice soft and encouraging.

"Oh, no. Definitely not." Ronan said.

"You want me to untie you?" Adam tried again.

"I just want you to fuck me, like this." Ronan said, too restless and needy to care about anything else. "No rules or safewords or anything else. Just me and you. Can I have that?"

"Of course you can," Adam murmured, leaning in for another deep kiss. "Whatever you want."

"Really?"

"Obviously," Adam replied with a shake of his head.

"Well," Ronan said, with a suggestive raise of his eyebrows. "In that case, I do have a few specific requests."

"You sure?" Adam asked breathily, minutes later, as he was positioned behind Ronan, who was on his knees again, facing the headboard, still trussed up by the wrists like a turkey.

"Yes," Ronan said, desire quaking dangerously inside him.  _God, just do it already._ Delayed gratification wasn't something he was accustomed to yet. This boy was going to be the death of him. Not that he minded that, really, at all.

"Listen," Adam's voice was low and serious, "if you want me to stop just say so, it's just us now." Warm lips pressed against his spine. He exhaled shakily. "I  _know_."

He squirmed impatiently to the sounds of a condom wrapper ripping open. He could visualize Adam sliding it slowly over himself, a sight he was sad to miss out on for the moment, but there was always tomorrow.

The unmistakable sounds of lubricant being hastily applied as Adam stroked it over himself was almost enough to make Ronan lose it prematurely. He sighed, his hips rocking back and forth involuntarily, ready. So ready.

"Don't ask if I'm ready," Ronan commanded suddenly, knowing without even being able to see that those exact words were just about to leave Adam's mouth. "I told you I just want you to fucking _take me_. Just fuck me. Please."

Adam said nothing in response. A moment later those wonderfully rough hands of his were gripping Ronan's hips. As promised, he pushed into him hard and without warning. Ronan gasped, wishing suddenly for a pillow to bite down on. Adam wasted no time, thrusting in and out of him hard and fast. One hand on his hip now, one flat on his back, reaching up to take hold of his shoulder.

"Like this?" Adam rasped, moving steadily inside him.

"Yes," Ronan breathed, voice a quavering mess. "God, yes. Just like that. Adam. Oh. Fuck. Adam,  _Adam_."

Adam was finding a strong, confident rhythm now, picking up speed with each thrust, losing himself in the sensation. Looking into that animalistic need inside him and making peace with it. This wasn't bad. He wasn't a monster. This was good. He was just...fucking his boyfriend.

And there was nothing wrong with that. He wasn't hurting him. At least, he didn't think so.

With the hand that gripped his shoulder, he pulled Ronan upward, as far as he could, given the binding, leaving his arms now bound together in front of his stomach. His hand snaked around to clasp Ronan by the throat. The other slide from his hip to reach around and stroke him. Ronan's moan was guttural.

"Yeah?" Adam whispered into his ear.

Ronan was starting to lose the ability to form even one syllable words at this point. They'd had sex before, many times, in lots of different ways. And he loved all those ways for different reasons. But this, this was taking him somewhere else completely. He was losing touch with reality, it felt so good. The only thing keeping him tethered to the here and now was the solid feel of Adam all around him. Inside of him, hard and deep. A swell of emotion crashed over him, then, splintering through the heady cloud of mindless lust that enveloped him. Adam was such a good, attentive lover. He always gave Ronan exactly what he wanted. Knew instinctively what he needed. He loved him for it. Fuck, he loved him in general. Not that he'd ever said it out loud, in so many words, but the feelings were all-encompassing and impossible to deny. He loved Adam Parrish. He loved the way he talked, the way he laughed, the way he kissed, and touched, and fucked. He loved the way he got mad, the way he'd storm off, the way he'd come back. The way he  _knew_ he'd always come back. He loved the smell of him fresh out of the shower. Almost as much as he loved the smell of him covered in sweat and oil and gasoline from a hard day's work. He loved the way they fit into each other so perfectly, no need for any secrets between them. Mostly, he loved the way they always saw each other for exactly what they were. They were still learning, yeah, but he'd never  _gotten_  anyone so completely, or been known the same way in return.

The shudder of Adam's orgasm releasing inside of him spurred him from his internal, love-drunken monologue. He groaned, Adam's pleasure never failing to seep right into him until it was indistinguishable from his own. Adam's grip on his neck slackened, his head falling forward to kiss any bits of skin he could reach. He nuzzled his face into Ronan's neck, breathing hard and slow against him. Eventually, Adam's mouth found its way back to his, where it most rightfully belonged as far as Ronan was concerned. They kissed and kissed as Adam continued stroking Ronan with his hand. It might have been weird, he wasn't sure, but in truth this was his favorite way to get off. Ronan had a thing about Adam's hands. They were just so...perfect. Palms big, but not meaty. Fingers slender, but not spindly. Strong as they were gentle. Rough in just the right way. Just, perfect. And fuck, he knew what to do with them.

He continued to moan, eyes closed, wrists bound, arms numb, as Adam worked him right over the edge until he was the one shuddering and gasping into his own release.

He slumped forward in exhaustion, plastering himself to the now sticky sheet beneath him. Ugh. He'd have to deal with that later.

But a moment later he felt Adam's hands at his wrists, undoing the unholy contraption that had kept him bound and helpless all night. He groaned and hissed after he was finally set free, his muscles protesting against him as he tried to move them back into a natural position. He cried out in mock agony.

"Wait right here," Adam said, quickly sliding back into his boxers and disappearing from sight.

Ronan barely had time to think "the fuck...?" when Adam had returned, a bottle of lotion in hand.

"What are you doing, Parrish?"

"Let me see those wrists," Adam said, sitting back down on the bed, squirting a dollop of lotion into his hands. He rubbed them together and held them out, motioning for Ronan to bring his forward. He did so in disbelieving silence.

"What." Adam said at Ronan's no doubt incredulous expression.

"I'm just in shock," Ronan shrugged, as Adam began to gently massage the lotion into one of his wrists. "We've come full circle. Loser."

"Aftercare is not for losers," Adam said with a resigned sigh. "It's for responsible, loving boyfriends who want to make sure their partner is okay after an event. And your wrists are all red and raw and I need to take care of it."

"They feel fine," Ronan protested, but Adam simply squirted another blob of lotion out and went to work on his other wrist.

 _I love you_ , Ronan suddenly wanted to blurt out right at that moment. But it would just sound like he was being sarcastic. Once Adam was done with his wrists, he told Ronan to turn over.

He screwed up his face in confusion, then barked out a harsh laugh. "Um, no."

"Yes," Adam said.

"You're not rubbing lotion on my ass, you freak."

"Suit yourself," Adam said after a moment, placing the lotion bottle on the table next to the bed. "But you'll be sore in the morning."

"Nothing new there," Ronan scoffed, rolling over to extract himself from the disgusting, messy sheet he was now stuck to. "I need to get this off me," he said, gesturing to the remaining mess that glistened across his chest and stomach.

"I'll put the sheet in the wash." Adam volunteered, grabbing the wadded up ball of fabric from him and exiting the room once more.

"Adam!" Ronan called from where he sat, a good five minutes later, in the bathroom. "Get in here!"

Adam appeared moments later, cracking the door and peeking his head in. "What? Do you need something?"

"Yes, I need you to get the hell in here with me." Ronan said. Adam opened the door and entered the room fully, to find Ronan sitting smugly in a bathtub practically overflowing with bubbles.

"Seriously." Adam's tone was flat and bemused.

"Very serious. This is part of my aftercare. You have to do whatever I say."

"That's not exactly-" Adam started.

"Do you want me to be emotionally scarred for life or do you want to get in the damn tub, Parrish?"

Adam rolled his eyes and slid off his boxers. "This is ridiculous," he said, stepping into the warm, soapy water with great caution.

"Oh, now I'm the ridiculous one." Ronan shook his head. "Stop being a dickhead and get over here."

Adam sunk down into the tub with all the grace of a baby deer, but eventually he managed to fit himself in, back pressed up against Ronan's chest. Ronan's arms wrapped around him and squeezed. He brought his head forward to kiss his neck, his cheek.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," Adam returned, bringing his hands up to run his fingers through his hair, wetting it into a slick, dark mass on his head. He leaned back against Ronan.

For awhile, they just sat together in silence, letting themselves unwind, the warm water a comforting blanket around them.

"So," Adam said finally, "That was..."

"Fun." Ronan finished.

"Yeah?" Adam asked.

"Well I can only speak for myself," Ronan amended. "But I was having a great time."

"Good," Adam said, breathing a huge sigh of relief. Ronan was surprised. "Did you really think I wasn't?"

Adam shrugged. "It seemed like it, but, I don't know. I'm not exactly an expert on all this stuff."

Ronan snorted loudly at that. "Yeah, well, you could've fooled me. Mr. Stand Up. Do It Again. Get On Your Knees. Say Please. I mean, _Jesus_."

Adam blanched. "Yeah, uh, I don't know I- was kind of just working from instinct I...I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't...take it too far, did I?"

"Psh," Ronan spat. "As far as I'm concerned you didn't take it far enough. I was..." Ronan breathed out, remembering, burying himself into Adam from behind. "So fucking into it."

"So it was okay, then?" Adam asked, shifting in front of Ronan. "I mean, I did okay?"

"You were amazing," Ronan told him, running his fingertips up and down his arms. "You were perfect."

"Mm," Adam said vaguely.

"Mm?" Ronan murmured back, leaning forward for more arbitrary, useless kisses. "What about you? You enjoyed yourself, didn't you?"

"Oh," Adam said, brightening. "I mean, yeah. Of course. I loved it. But, I always love...you know...doing anything with you."

"Gross," Ronan whispered, turning his face so he could kiss his mouth.

"I don't know if it's something I'd like to do  _all_ the time," he went on slowly, "I mean...if that's okay."

"Well, obviously." Ronan scoffed. "I mean, as much as I liked being tied up and all, and I really liked it, I kind of missed...you know...like, being able to hold on to you. Touch you."

"Gross," Adam shot back at him, a silly smile lighting up his unlawfully gorgeous face.

They stayed in the bath for awhile, trading insults and fighting over who truly won the how-long-can-you-hold-your-breath-underwater challenge that Adam insisted Ronan kept cheating at.

"How can I be fucking cheating?" Ronan wanted to know, bubbles dripping ridiculously down his chin like a soppy white beard. "You think I got fucking gills hidden somewhere?"

"I don't know how you're doing it, but I know your victory is null and void until I figure it out."

"Sore ass loser," Ronan accused with a wry smile.

"Cheating merman," Adam countered with narrowed eyes. And on they went. Until Ronan grew too disgusted with the prune-like quality that was becoming of his skin and announced himself finished.

"Hey," Adam said, awhile later in Ronan's room, as they were freshly dry and worming their way back into their clothes. "I love you."

Ronan looked up sharply, nearly choking himself with his own tank top. He quickly righted it and pulled it down over himself.

"Sorry," Adam said, shaking his head, a flush rising across his skin. "You don't have to say anything back I just...I don't know. Felt like saying that."

Ronan was too tired, too sore, too made of mush to even begin to explain how absurd what just transpired was to Adam or even to himself. The only thing he did have the strength to do was say, "I love you, too, Adam. You know I fucking do."

Adam looked back to him, nodded once, and that was the end of that.

"Don't go," Ronan murmured up against his mouth as they were kissing their goodbyes. "Stay. Sleep with me."

"I want to," Adam whispered back, nudging Ronan's nose with his. "But how's that going to work? Gansey-"

"Is going to be gone all night. Won't be back til tomorrow. He promised."

"And what will he think when he gets here and finds me in your bed?"

"It won't be like that, and you know it." Ronan argued. "So what? You stayed the night? I doubt he'd think anything of it."

"Aren't you worried?" Adam asked carefully, knowing this was a touchy subject. "About the...nightmares?"

Ronan's face fell, and Adam felt awful, knowing he'd spoiled everything. Ronan's good mood, the perfect ending to their night together. He shook his head, trying to salvage what he could. "I mean, I'm not worried. I could take a night horror with my hands tied behind my back." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Ronan snorted.

"You're right, you should go."

"No." Adam said, "I'm staying."

Ronan shook his head and yawned, "What does it say about our relationship that my romantic whisperings can't sway you to stay the night with me but your unhealthy need to be a stubborn bag of shit can?"

"That we're perfect for each other," Adam answered, slinking his arms around Ronan's waist and pushing him back onto his bed. "You're sleepy," he noted, just to add insult to injury.

"Am not," Ronan grumbled, rubbing at his eye and pouting like a toddler. It was only around each other they really got to act like this. It's not that were necessarily disingenuous around others. Ronan, in fact, prided himself on being an honest person. Brutally so. It was just that something about being alone with Adam for prolonged periods of time had made him malleable, easily manipulated into soft curves when everyone else only got his hard edges. Maybe that was just what happened when you were in love. That was the big secret. You got to act like weird, gross dumbasses in front of each other.

As long as it meant getting to fall asleep - and wake up, God, he couldn't wait to wake up - in Adam's arms, then Ronan was more or less okay with that.

Ronan lifted himself out of bed as quietly as possible, careful not to wake Adam as dawn broke over Monmouth Manufacturing. The sun was hitting him in a stupidly cinematic way, bringing out the warm highlights in his dirt colored hair, shadows accentuating his elegantly sculpted cheekbones. He looked different in sleep, Ronan noticed with a sudden pang in his chest. Innocent and unassuming. Peaceful, was the expression on his face. Smooth of worry or stress. He wanted him to stay like that for as long as possible. He knew Adam needed some quality rest, maybe even more-so than he did.

He still took care to keep his footsteps quiet as he made his way to Noah's room to check in on Chainsaw. Please don't scream, he begged her silently with his mind as he cracked open the door and nearly gave a cry himself when he came face to face with the last person he expected to see.

Instead he just gaped at the dark, huddled figure who now turned to look at him, greeting him with a saccharine smile. "Morning sunshine," Blue Sargent said. "Sleep well?"

"What the hell are you doing here?" he hissed at her, not out of malice, but sheer confusion. "Who let you in?"

"Noah," she said. "And saving everyone a big mess of trouble." She paused. "Not in that order."

"What do you mean, saving everyone?" he wanted to know. "Where's Gansey?"

"Picking up breakfast, says Noah" she said. "Speaking of which, I just fed Chainsaw. I heard her rustling about when I got here and decided to take matters into my own hands, since I'm sure your room is booby-trapped with an old rusty guillotine for anyone to tries to peep their head in the door."

"Not a bad idea." Ronan smirked at her. "You still didn't answer my question. The second one."

"Gansey called me last night," Blue said matter-of-factly, "to catch me up on the goings-on of Monmouth, and how he'd been kicked out for the evening per your request, and was asking me what he should do. I told him to see what Adam was doing. He told me Adam was busy. I said, "all night?" and he said, "yeah." And I said, "oh, alright then."

"Huh," was Ronan's gruff reply.

"So, anyway. I figured if we were all here hanging out when he showed up in the morning, he wouldn't suspect anything, you know."

Ronan narrowed his eyes, "What are you getting at, Sargent?"

"Nothing, really. I only have two suggestions for you, Lynch."

He crossed his arms, oddly charmed for some reason. "I'm listening."

"One: you could consider thanking me for being distracting enough to keep Gansey's mind off the fact that his two best friends were both mysteriously busy on the same night when you literally never hang out with anyone but each other."

"And?" Ronan had to keep his voice from cracking around the word. He was as annoyed as he was impressed.

"Two:" Blue said, "You might want to hurry and kiss your prince awake before much longer. Gansey will be back soon."

"I'm going to tell him." Ronan said evenly. "Just so you know. I'm not keeping anything from him on purpose. I just need...time."

"I never said-"

"And I don't want him finding out by accident, or through speculation, or from anyone else. I want him to hear it from me. I want to sit down and talk to him about it. He's  _my_  friend. And it's  _mine_ to tell."

"Hey," Blue threw her hands up in a gesture of surrender. "I don't disagree with any of that."

"Well," Ronan said, crossing his arms and uncrossing them, awkwardly, not sure of what to do with himself. "Alright then."

Blue nodded and sauntered away, not before calling over her shoulder, "Your secret's safe with me."

Adam was sitting up in bed when Ronan slid back into his room, hair in every direction and rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

"Well there goes my plan," Ronan scoffed, walking over to curl up at his feet.

"What plan..." Sleepy Adam grumbled.

"I was gonna kiss you awake, Sleeping Beauty style."

"Creepy," Adam mumbled, scrunching up his face.

"Forward your complaints to Blue, it was her idea."

Adam's eyes snapped open fully at that. "What?"

"She's here. Noah's here, somewhere I think. And Gansey's on his way. So get up and try your best to look like we didn't just have wild, taboo sex last night. Our morning after party awaits."

"Uffghfhghh," Adam gurgled, throwing his face back into a pillow. Ronan sighed and reached over for the box that sat on his bedside table, pulling out a stick and settling it into his mouth.

Adam looked up at him, bleary-eyed and weak.

"Pocky?" Ronan offered, the stick wobbling up and down in his mouth as he spoke.

Adam shook his head, then with a hard sigh leaned forward to bite the extending edge of the stick off and chew it into his own mouth.

"Hm," he said after a moment. "Not bad." 

After the boys had dressed themselves in a flurry and made it out of Ronan's room, they were relieved to find it was only Blue and Noah that awaited them outside. 

"Just in the nick of time," Noah winked, as the unmistakable industrial sound of a door being fiddled open filled their ears. 

"Oh." Gansey said once he was upon them, his eyes widening slightly as he took in everyone. His gaze shifted to Blue. "Jane," he greeted her with a warm smile. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" 

Blue shrugged innocently. "Just hanging out. Is that a problem?" 

"Of paramount proportions," Gansey replied, and then he made a weird face. Ronan realized belatedly he was trying to look....flirtatious. He had to bite back a laugh. 

"I was just tagging along with Adam," Blue added casually, as she reached for the bag in Gansey's hand and fished out a grease-wrapped breakfast sandwich for herself. "I can have one of these, right?" 

"Yes," Gansey answered immediately. "Wait," his head snapped up, eyes narrowing at Blue. "You spent the night here?" Ronan sucked in his breath. Adam went pale. Noah fizzled in and out of focus. 

"Um." Blue said, swallowing. "What?" 

"Why did I have to leave, then?" Gansey now pointed his question to Ronan. "I thought the whole point of my temporary eviction was so you and Adam could spend some time alone together." 

Noah cut his gaze to Blue, who was locking equally bewildered eyes with Adam, Ronan stayed fixed on Gansey. Nobody spoke. 

"Oh," Gansey blanched after a moment, bringing a hand over his mouth. "Oh. No. Was I not supposed to say anything?" 


End file.
